Thursday, December 23, 2010

Vet Trip

Hey everyone! Welcome to Boyd's World, for all you new-comers. For those of you who haven't seen it, I have a guest post on Consumable Sarcasm that will be posted sometime today (Thursday). I'm totally going to blame my week-long silence on that, instead of plain-old laziness.

So, yesterday we took our cat Mozilla in to the vet's to be fixed. Our vet is in a town half an hour away, which is actually fortunate. You see, the town it's in was built around a sugar beet processing plant, which is really just a horrible concept. For those who don't know, the processing of sugar beets releases a smell into the air that can best be described as a combination of burning crap and stagnant, rusty water. And it will get in your car. And it will make you sick. And if you don't breathe, it will get on your tongue and you will taste it.

Anyway, we take him to that vet because the prices there are way better than anywhere else. It's a pretty old-school place, where they make no attempts at appearing to be a hospital-type place. They don't wear gloves, they don't sanitize the tables between animals, and they're incredibly laid back. That might sound like a turn off to some, but it's actually kind of nice. The place comes highly recommended by all the professionals in animal care, which also says something about him.

We picked Mozilla up the next day. As soon as I got inside the reception area, I was gagging with the smell inside. It reeked of cat pee in there, which let my mom to comment, "Wow, I couldn't imagine living with an animal that smelled like that." Yeah, I couldn't either, until we got to the desk and asked for our cat. "Oh, you're picking up the stinky cat? He's responsible for this smell." He sprayed in the office sometime after his operation, and it was horrible. To make things worse, the receptionist told us we couldn't submerge him in water to bathe him for a couple weeks. I don't know what would happen, but I assume he would start to turn inside-out at the point of incision or something.

Driving home, he sprayed again. By this time, between the smell of him and the smell of the town, I was dying. When we got home, my mother tried to get him clean with washcloths and disinfectant wipes, but it wasn't really working. He reeked, and refused to stay confined to the laundry room (the only room that could handle the stench). To make things even worse, my girlfriend was coming over in a couple of hours, and it would be the first time she hung out at my house. I wanted her first impression to be one of "hey, this is nice" and not "why, why does it smell so bad??".

We ended up rushing into town to buy some candles, and managed to cover up the scent pretty well. Mozilla helped out by constantly cleaning himself, which was actually pretty effective in stench-removal. He still stinks, but it's manageable now.

Well, I hope you all a happy Festivus and a Merry Christmas! Don't forget to air your grievances today, and to engage in feats of strength with your family!


Tanner "Four String Finger Sting" Simmons said...

Good show, Drew! Animals are truly a blessing upon this ruddy mud-ball we call the Earth! I wouldn't worry too much though. Gabby seems pretty down-to-earth about stuff like that. If she comes back after something like that, you know she likes you. Anyways, you truly spun an interesting tale here. I laughed, I cried, and I wrote this awesome comment. Hope your Holidays are as happy as ever, Drew!

p.s. You're coming to my New Years Eve party, right?

Kassandrah said...

Why did you call it Boyd's world if your name is Drew?

That Blond Guy said...

I hate the vet. It reeks of animal cruelty and euthanasia.


Your post on Consumable Sarcasm was premium, by the way.

Boyd said...

Why thank you!

Kindros said...

Wow, that was pretty eventful. Grats on awesome crisis management. :) Looking forward to reading more.