Saturday, February 7, 2009


Ugh. Today's post has been infected by the crappiness of my most recent Boy Scout torture. Seriously, I have no idea how I've managed to stay in it as long as I have. I think if I was in a different troop it wouldn't be as horrible, that perhaps I just choose a really bad troop to be in. Why did I choose this one in the first place? Oh, because my jerk of a former friend was in it, and he bailed two weeks after I joined. My goal currently is to get Eagle and get out, because the people in my troop are toxic.
Shall I list some past experiences to show why I feel this way? Why not.
OK, the main reason I hate my troop is this dude named Brian. Seriously, I'm not a violent person, but when I'm around him I start to see red. We've pretty much reached an agreement that if we see each other outside of scouts, it's gonna become a fight. Another major reason for my hatred of the troop are all of the leaders. The number of obnoxious and idiotic things they do is so great one could not even begin to describe it. Try to imagine a person doing everything in their power to ensure you don't have a fun time doing something, and then they make sure if you leave you'll be mocked and called a wimp, quitter, and sissy. That's still not as bad as them, but it gives you perspective.
Today, there was a thing over at my scoutmaster's house. Mandatory. The first horrible thing about it was, of course, the fact I showed up an hour early. Still, it didn't bother me that much. My scoutmaster's wife told my mom to pick me up at 2:30. Super. 4 and a half hours. I actually, as much as I hate to admit it, I had fun the first little while. Then the snowball fight started.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love snowball fights. Even this one was fun, at first. Unfortunately, there were a lot of little kids, and that somewhat threw off the fun factor, for two reasons. A, you feel bad when you hurt the little kids because they can't handle getting whipped with an ice ball. B, because they take the violence too far. You would think, "Oh, they're just little kids, how horrible could they be?" The answer is, not too brutal, individually, but when they gang up on you, you end up getting hurt. Which is what happened.
It was incredibly warm out today, so I just had on jeans and a sweater. By the end, I was covered in water, mud, and possibly dog crap. Yeah, it stunk, pun intended. I had been doing pretty good, sniping the kids too dense to stay down when they weren't firing, when all of a sudden I heard someone shout, "DREW, LOOK OUT!!!" The next thing I knew, I was pinned to the ground, being attacked. I fought to get up, but that just resulted in the first of many leg injuries. I think I pulled a muscle near my knee, all i know is that it bent backwards. I finally got up, only to encounter a chunk of ice-snow the size of a microwave. I couldn't even fight back too well, because I knew the kid who planned it would break down and cry if I did the same to him. Seriously, he's this kid who refuses to eat anything other than hot dog buns, PB&J, and potato products. He had a fit because one of the leaders tried to get him to eat corn once. Stephen, post a comment to support my description of him.
Well, for the next hour and a half I had to put up with being totally soaked, continually pummeled, and about a million bruises. Eventually, everyone got tired and called their parents for a ride home. What?? It was only 1:30. To avoid having to wait to use my leader's phone for the next ten minutes, I pulled out my cell. Yes, I wasn't supposed to have it, blah blah blah. I bring contraband (food, electronics) onto every camp out. Deal with it. So, anyway, I was calling my mom. She told me that if I called, she would be right there, because she would have her cell on her the whole time. After about half an hour of her not picking up, I just left a voice mail. Finally, when I called a bit later, she picked up, and said she had been on the treadmill. This whole time, I have to deal with the kid I hate so much sniping me with snowballs. I'm somewhat surprised my phone still works, what with all the snow it got on it. For the last 15 minutes or so, I just stood around and tried to avoid snowballs.
When I got home, I showered, ate lunch, and fell asleep in the chair for 6 straight hours. I woke up at one point, and I couldn't feel anything. You could have stabbed me with a fork and I wouldn't have felt it. When I got up, I was in serious pain. My left knee is really scraped up, my right knee is still hard to walk on, and the rest of my body is bruised. My face is one giant sore spot, it kills me to even walk across the room. Sure, I feel a sense of satisfaction, but it's not enough to justify it. I feel like I've been through a meat grinder.
Has this been enough pain for you to read about in one day? I hope so. My apologies, I'll post cheerful stuff next time.


Unknown said...

well jamie is pretty much the epitamy of dumbass. hes going to die when he is like 25 because he lives off carbohydrates (nothing but bread, grain, etc).
sucks that your his assistant.
i had a blast although before the fight even started i got like 20 snowballs. then during it it was all like " gang up on stephen!!!!"
good times
im pretty close to eagle so im happy im almost out.
imagine being with them since tiger cubs.

Ashley said...

I'm sorry, but thats freakishly amusing.
I'm laughing still.